dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
