my sisters under your porch take her home
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
