The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
