I want you more than these girls want KFC
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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