An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
