$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
