I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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