I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
