"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
