Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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