I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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