If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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