I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
