i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
