so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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