At least make sure they are 18
Why
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
