turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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