Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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