You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
