I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
