At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
