did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
