so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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