I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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