That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
