ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
