no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
