My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
