Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
