please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
