the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
