it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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