We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
