Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
