I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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