I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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