Taylor Swift is so right about you.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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