You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
