Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
