Who wears a wallet chain?!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
