she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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