the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
