It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
