You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
