Can i not drive my cunt home
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
