She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
