He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
