is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
