I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
