Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
