hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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