So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
